SET PHASERS TO: GO THERE NOW.

Booze and 'ludes.

YESTERDAY'S NEWS, TOMORROW.

Your newest ex.

Our newest Cheddarette.

- Udonis Haslem, welcome to the club Slick. Much love to the cop that got one more car with illegal tints off the road. Nothing is more dangerous than a car window that manages to offer privacy to the owner and also keeps out UV rays while keeping the car cooler. You guys get it, right?

- First there was a controversial QB in Pittsburgh. It seems there may be a QB controversy in Western PA. Byron Leftwich, who is roughly 56 (apparently he's only 30), is in competition with Dennis Dixon, former Heisman candidate and beast at Oregon, for the starting job while Big Ben sits out his suspension.

- This is terrifying. How is that mini panic attack all over your face? He may have redeemed himself though.

- Football Jesus, scored his first NFL rushing touchdown, he also got rocked on the way in. Every TD should be called "the joy of six" (45 sec.). This guy totes agrees.

- Reason number 506,892 the Ipad is a necessity.

HAPPINESS IS A WARM TWIN.

A return to normalcy. This is nice. No?

- Isiah don't work in New York, no mo'. We didn't see this ending poorly.

- Another product request. For field research, of course.

- It is birthday season so, if you know anyone at Gibson, this 'basstar' is a necessity. Lest you want Le Ched to fail. It's not too much to ask.

- This is happening. Never would have guessed she would need a stunt double.

- You ever see Armageddon? Try this.

- Russel Brand is a motorist. A motorist who crashed one of these. We know it's late but sweet shit man that's a $230,000 automobile. Head on a swivel Russ.

- So, wait, Lady Gaga doesn't have a dong? Lily, you weren't the only one who was confused. We still appreciate what you do.

- We should all take some time to reflect on our youth. You should do this more often, we're just trying to help. We do because we care about you, we do this to motivate you.