TWINS > LIBRARY.

Ladies, you know where this is heading. Would you mind introducing me to the twins?

- First things first, Showalter's O's 1, rest of the Majors 0. Sit and spin.

- I went to the library for the air conditioning and people watching. Regrettable. After waiting twenty minutes a computer opened up and I took the opportunity to use it. Again, regrettable. After ten minutes of using said computer, I was approached by a fellow library patron. "You done yet?" he asked, "No, I just sat down, sorry man" I responded. "Then, when will you be?" a little more impatient, "no idea" I say. My answer did not seem to satisfy him, in response, he reacted by yelling to his friends "..some bullshit man, motherfucker just playing video games and looking at titties (no I wasn't), I'm just trying to check my facebook, damn." In my defence I was in the middle of the greatest game of tower defense OF MY LIFE, and you can't check facebook at the library. I left about ten minutes later when I realized the group forming around my antagonist were all wearing backwards hats. Waste time with this, hopefully not his though.

- And boom goes the dynamite. Funny and smoking hot, I'm down. And, you're on Mad Men!?! double down. Alison Brie, I'll see you in your dreams.

- We'll both be joining Ms. Hendricks in the bath tub, just after this chuckleberry takes his size 7 out of his mouth. Smooth Brian, smooth. Notice how long he lets that simmer before completely imploding, a real news man would have sealed the deal. He should have just pulled his dick out and started yelling "I have sex at you!" Although, I think Big Ben has that game on lock, again sorry Bri.

- I've given you the entertainment, now let Larissa do the rest.