CHECK PLEASE.

Cream get the money.

Dallas Cowboys wide-out and, not-your-fucking-bellhop, Dez Bryant got stuck with the tab. Bryant and teammates went out to celebrate their first win of the season after beating Houston on Sunday. The problem, Roy Williams' spiteful little soul, Williams invited the whole team out with them and when the check came it fell in Bryant's lap, probably after bouncing off Williams chest pads on an eight yard slant from Romo. The bill came to 54,896 American dollars. At twenty percent that's roughly $11,000 on the tip, who are we kidding? Bryant left a five and asked the server if he had to pay at the hostess stand.

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'.

Noted beard aficionado and incomplete pass creator, Braylon Edwards was pulled over and charged with a DUI early Tuesday morning. B-Eazy was popped at 5:13 a.m. in Manhattan blowing a .16, twice the legal limit. Braylon was cooperative with the cops, explaining how he was just testing out a new study he had recently read about. As a Michigan grad, research is very important to him, you see. And, as a soon to be former Jet, handling his booze is even more important to him.

CLINTON, WE GET YOU.

Clinton, we know you were misunderstood.
You were talking about the ladies covering ChedCon 2010.

Australian for twins.

Jump to 16:05 for the goods.

GET PREPERRATED.

Ladies, it's great to see you.
Bottoms up.

Darrelle Revis has been using his hold out for good and not for evil.

CUT IT OUT, KEEP IT UP.

A little more free time isn't always bad.

Cut It Out.

- Matt Leinart, Fast Willie and, Housh... We don't know how to tell you this, the tribe has spoken. You gots to go.

- NCAA Football is back, this is a good thing. College Football Live is also back. Lou, Mark and, Rece, fucking cool it.

- Low-rider bikes, knock it off, you don't look cool. Unless, you're a straight cholo then, carry on.

- You fucking hipsters, just stop it. Your jeans are just making everyone else physically uncomfortable. Go listen to Death Cab and leave us alone.

Keep It Up.

- Sam Bradford, put the clipboard down.

- Animals. Keep on keeping on.

- This will never not be funny.

- Bacon, we've spoken about you before but, today is your day. Keep it up bacon, keep it up.

- Uncle Joey from the parquet. Don't ever cut it out Joey.

Today is your day, enjoy it.

IT'S CRUNCH TIME SON.

Some big boy hits, you may have missed.

- And boom goes the dynamite.



- Jake Delhomme, your face has been adjusted.



- Giving him the business?

Gold. Guns. Girls.

THERE WILL BE CHEDDAR.

The Cheddar draft board is looking fierce. Bulger or Campbell in the first round, Mason Crosby in the second. Things are looking up for team Ched-Skins. We had given thought to Chris Cooley but, he's injury prone and, he really doesn't like drywall.

That is the opposite of this.

At 1:55 you can see why we're not allowed Forklift Privileges at work anymore. Also, why we're never riding public transport ever again.

Ladies, a pleasure as always.
We hit 500.
Without enhancement creams.
Boo-yah.

DARRELLE WANTS THAT NEW IPHONE

Pro Bowl corner back and sole proprietor of Revis Island, Darrelle Revis wants to get paid. The New York Jets however, have other plans.

The Jets are preparing for the regular season as if Revis won't be joining them on the field in 2010. Revis, who helped the Jets to become the number one ranked defense in the NFL, wants to restructure his current contract (6 years, $30 million, $11 mil guaranteed) to make him the highest paid corner in the league. Revis only has one more year left on his current deal, with incentives for performance, seems to be content sending his demands to the higher ups in New York while honing his Madden skills. Those higher ups seem content to reject said demands. The Jets, with out Revis, have little to no chance of becoming the Super Bowl contenders they hope to be. We assume this game of hardball will be over by the time the season begins. He is the best corner in the game and the Jets should know that, they're the professionals.

BUCK, SHOW ME THE tWINS!

Ladies, I apologize but, my friends really wanted to meet you but, well you know... Lets get a little more comfortable.

-The O's continue to shine under Buck's rule. We approve.

- All of the first rounders from the 2010 NFL Draft have been signed. Alot of money for exactly zero NFL experience. We have exactly zero NFL experience, where's our cash?

- Andre Johnson, cheddar in hand. Plax, papers in hand. Darrelle Revis, still on hold(out).

- Yankees, Red Sox this weekend. O's, White Sox also this weekend. It turns out more teams are playing too, good for them.


- If you needed a reason to go to South Beach this should help. This should help motivate you to go see a Marlins game.