This isn't going to be easy. The tide seems to be turning on us. We know, 49 out of 55. On the same field as Matt Leinart. Every other starter got the night off. Wait a tick? Do you think that means what we think it means? No, Shanny wouldn't do that. Has he said anything to you? He won't talk to us. He's kind of a prick any way. We adore you.
That noise you just heard in the distance was a collective "fuck you" from every #1 wideout in football. If you listen a little harder you might be able to hear Rex Ryan rubbing out some knuckle-children. On second thought, since we care about our readers, don't do that.
If you've been wondering what Revis has been doing, check the track with Mac Miller below.
Days after being cut by the Seattle Seahawks, veteran wide receiver TJ Houshmanzadeh has agreed to a 1-year deal with the Baltimore Ravens, joining Anquan Boldin and D-Mason on the list of weapons for the walking unibrow, Joe "The Show" Flacco. To make room for Housh, the Ravens traded Mark Clayton and a 7th round pick to the Rams for a 6th round pick.
Also, Troy Smith, former Heisman Trophy winner and one of our favorite QB's here at the Ched, is on his way out of the Land of the O after agreeing to a 1-year deal with the San Fransico 49ers. He will be playing behind two ex-#1 picks in Alex "Tiny Hands" Smith and David Carr for the time being.
The video on the left is John Mayer doing the play-by-play for a Dustin Pedroia at-bat and the video on the right is him announcing where he will be taking his talents this summer/fall. Both entertaining.
Below is the 20 minute John Mayer Show. Also entertaining.
In related news, Cleveland Steamer has been missing from The Ched since he predicted the future back in the first days of The Stinky Cheddar's existence. However, rumors are beginning to swirl that a return could be made in the coming days. Be on the look out, but don't count on it.
For those of you living under a rock in a cave with a blanket over your rock, the college football season officially kicks off tonight.
No. 2 Ohio State vs. Marshall and no. 15 Pitt-Utah will offer the most excitement. No. 14 USC at Hawaii will offer the most twins. Either way exciting.
....abstaining from alcohol does tend to increase one's risk of dying, even when you exclude former problem drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers' mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.
- Carl's Jr. You officially have the gayest commercials out there. Congrats? While you have that menu open, take a peek at the nutritional info, terrifying.
The rumor mill has been spinning out of control recently. It seems the Big Ten/Eleven/Twelve will announce plans for conference realignment today.
According to reports Michigan and Ohio State will be split into two different divisions and will still play each other in their last games of the season. There will be also be "protective cross-overs" for Illinois-Northwestern and Wisconsin-Minnesota. Good to hear, The Ched always uses protection.
Oh, good morning. Was not expecting you to still be here. Need a hand?
- So Michael Jackson released BAD. Twenty-three years ago. Kristen McKentire, one of us borrowed that tape in third grade (a couple years late, it seems), we owe you a copy and an apology.
- It has come to our attention, some of Chednation is not up to code. This should help.
This isn't going to be easy.
Grace, would you get me Mr. Bush's daytime number.
A little more free time isn't always bad.
Today is your day, enjoy it.
For those of you living under a rock in a cave with a blanket over your rock, the college football season officially kicks off tonight. 
Ladies, to your health.
Hey man, you can't take it with you.
Whoa, you're going out in that?
Straight lampin'
The rumor mill has been spinning out of control recently. It seems the Big Ten/Eleven/Twelve will announce plans for conference realignment today.
Oh, good morning.
Nah, we're too drunk to dance.
